Embracing Relationships as a Catalyst for Growth, Love & Fun.
In life we don’t get what we want – we get what we are committed to. So make sure you are living your life from conscious commitment and not old unconscious patterns.
An easy way to find out what you are committed to is by looking at the results you are producing in your life. If you’d like to be in a relationship and you are single – your unconscious commitment is to being single. If you’d like honest communication with your partner yet the two of you keep recycling the same old issues and bickering – then your unconscious commitment is to fighting.
Looking at the results you are producing in your life is not intended as fuel to beat yourself up or criticize yourself for “still being single” or “still not figuring out how to communicate lovingly”. Becoming aware of your unconscious commitments is a great way to get a handle on the territory you are in and the route ahead. If you are sailing to South America for example, you need to first locate your current location so that you can navigate the easiest way to get there. What good does it do you to pretend that you are somewhere completely different and from there try to find a route to South America – you’ll never get to where you want to go.
Facing into and lovingly accepting your current unconscious commitments gives you an opportunity to create a new course to get you where you want to go.
My friends Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks offer a powerful new commitment in their book, “Lasting Love” that I suggest you embrace. They state, “I commit to learning from all my interactions and from the results of my actions”.
Wow, that’s a powerful statement and immediately puts you into the seat of taking back the power vs. being a victim and at the mercy of others or circumstances.
By seeing every interaction with your partner, loved ones, and family members as a learning opportunity you do not need to blame them or yourself for any situation. You get to see the interaction as an opportunity to shed light on something that so far has been hidden to you. Embracing this new commitment also gives you an opportunity to discover how you want your interactions with loved ones to be and what your relationship destination is. By seeing every interaction as an opportunity for learning you always know where you are and can more easily adjust your route, getting you back on track to South America – or wherever you want to go in your relationship.
I’d love to hear about your experiences in embracing this new commitment and invite you to post your thoughts and ideas below.
So interesting what our interactions tell us about ourselves and one another. For me, my best learning has come from the challenging moments in my relationships. That’s not to say that I like it when they are happening, yet when I can be fully present in those moments and *really* notice what is going on within myself and the other person, I can learn so much about life!
So although you blog was about forgiveness and acceptance, it was also a great reminder for me to be present.
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